Penpals
by HolesNewsiesFreak
Summary: Ever had a teacher set up a penpal program with another school in your area? Spot and Racetrack are not happy about this particular project. Sprace. HighSchool!AU. (Rated M for lots of coarse language.)
1. Chapter 1: Racetrack (Monday Feb 16th)

An actual new story? What? Anyway, I started this 5 years ago, and I figure I'll do something with it. Enjoy!

* * *

Dear random kid who is now my penpal (AKA Sean Conlon),

This is a stupid project. Not really a good greeting, but it's the only thing going through my head right now, so it'll have to do. The only relief I have comes from the fact that my teacher isn't reading these. Bless you, Mr. Williams.

So anyway, I suppose I should introduce myself. I'm Tony Higgins, better known as Racetrack (because horseback racing is practically an art form, godammit.

I'm 16, Italian, I like playing cards, I have a huge dumb Italian family (3 sisters, 4 brothers), aaanndd…..

Yup, fuck this. The teachers want me to write full pages, but I honestly don't give a shit. Sorry, dude.

-Race (or Tony, whatever the hell you want)

* * *

Pretty short, I know. Gets longer further in.

-Dare


	2. Chapter 2: Spot (Wednesday Feb 18th)

I have a bunch already written out, so I'll try to upload as much as I can.

* * *

Race,

Meh.

Trust me, I hate this more than you. I hate this more than the abortions they call "minions". If my teacher checked this, I'm pretty sure she would shove a meter stick up my ass. No joke.

Name: Spot. Not Sean. Spot. Don't ask, I'm not telling.

Why horse races? Why not something normal like basketball or whatever?

I'm 16 as well, Irish, no huge family. (just mommy dearest and I)

Honestly I don't give a flying fuck. I'm not filling pages with bullshit about myself, and I don't care to hear about yours. Fuck the system, I'm out.

-Spot

* * *

I'll upload a couple more chapters tomorrow. Any feedback is appreciated!

Peace.

-Dare


	3. Chapter 3: Racetrack (Friday Feb 20th)

I'm going to try to actually finish this story in good time.

* * *

Spot,

Meh?

I honestly doubt you hate this more than me. However, I do agree with you on the minions bit. They must be stopped.

Has your teacher shoved ruler sticks up asses before? Is this something all of her students worry about? When she'll snap again?

Spot, huh? Well now you have to tell me how you ended up with a dog name.

Ok, one: basketball sucks. Why anyone would even want to play the sport is beyond me.

Two: I can't play basketball…I'm too short. (yes, yes laugh it up) Gym class is hell when they force us to play.

Also I like horseracing because my uncle made me watch it all the time. I guess eventually I just grew to like them as much as he did. Pretty cool guy, haven't seen him since my family moved here from Chicago. Anyway..

I'm just gonna ignore that last paragraph. But, "fuck the system"? Really?

And on that note, I hear my friends talking about dicks, and giggling like little girls, so obviously I'm going to join them.

Arrivederci.

-Race

* * *

#downwithminions2k15

-Dare


	4. Chapter 4: Spot (Monday Feb 23rd)

Short chapters but a shit ton of chapters? Enjoy!

* * *

Race,

I'll be honest I wasn't going to send a letter back, but my teacher threatened to fail me, and hold me back from senior year. Cold hearted bitch.

Yes, meh. Got a fucking problem with it?

When I got home after this shit was assigned I literally punched a hole through my door. It hurt like a motherfucker. So, yes, I hate this more than you.

We aren't allowed to talk about the "Ruler Incident of '14" anymore. Sorry.

Fuck you, it's not a dog's name. If you must know, everyone calls me Spot because I leave hickies. Very visible hickies. That's all I'll say.

There are worse sports than basketball

What the fuck? Dude, even I'm tall enough for basketball, and I'm pretty fucking short. How tall are you? Jesus.

Your uncle is weird and so are you.

Your friends were talking about dicks? Theirs or others?

Arrivederci? Is that like Spanish?

-Spot

* * *

My friend actually punched a hole in her door once. It's still there. slutty!Spot headcanon is my life.

-Dare


	5. Chapter 5: Racetrack (Wed Feb 25th)

Finally the rest of my children appear. More in the next chapter too!

Blink- ALL CAPS

Davey-underlined

Jack- **Bold**

Mush- _italics_

* * *

Spot, SPOTTIEKINS

My friends are assaulting me as I write this, seeing as they are annoying fucks.

HI SPOT! RACE SAYS YOU'RE SUPER COOL.

Lies. Ignore him.

Hello. Tony and Ryan are currently fighting over the pen. Ryan was the one who wrote above. I'm David. Jack also says "Hi." From next to me.

 **Ignore Davey, he writes like an old man.**

At least I don't have the writing of a five year old. 

_Hi! I'm Mush! Shit, Race just won the pen back. Bye!_

Why did my friends write dumb shit? You'll probably get some sick humour out of my suffering, so I won't throw this paper away. Whatever. Hopefully they'll leave me alone to finish this.

What, are my letters not entertaining enough for you? Rude.

I have no problem with your 'Meh'.

You actually managed to make a hole in your door? Jesus dude, what steroids are you on?

AND WHERE CAN RACE GET SOME?

Blink clearly needs to learn how to fuck off and stop stealing my pen.

Hickies? Really? So there's just a bunch of girls walking around your school with patches on their necks?

Name so called "worse sports".

I can't help the fact that I'm short, ok? It runs in the family.

 _It's true, race is a small child._

Jesus, not Mush too. Blink is a bad influence. Anyway, I'm 5'5". Yes, seriously. How tall are you? Cause rarely are people shorter than me.

Mush and Blink were talking about dicks, Dave's "too mature for that kind of talk", but I saw him laughing so fuck him. Jack still thinks he's straight, which, nah. They were talking about dicks because one of Mush's paintings for art class looks like it has dicks all over it. Not sure if it was on purpose or not.

Arrivederci is basically bye in Italian. Not Spanish, you dumb fuck.

-Race

* * *

I have too many friends like Blink, tbh.

-Dare


	6. Chapter 6: Spot (Friday Feb 27th)

More sweet children.

Skittery- _italics_

Snitch-ALL CAPS

Itey-underlined

Dutchy- **Bold**

Specs- _underlined italics_

* * *

Race, (Spottiekins? What the fuck.)

Your friends seem…interesting. Actually they sound a lot like mine. I'll have them write something.

 _Hey._

OMG HI

Yo.

 **Ello.**

 _Hi._

Wow. They suck. The first one was Skittery. He's an emo fuck. The second was Snitch, he's fucked in the head. The third was Itey. He thinks he's cool, but really isn't. Ever. The fourth was Dutchy. He dresses like a punk, but is actually a five year old. The last one was Specs. He literally knows everything. It's annoying. And those are my friends.

You're right, your friends amuse me. Keep them around.

You're actually a lot cooler than I thought you would be. When I found out we were getting letters from your school, I thought for sure I'd get an annoying preppy Jesus freak. So far, you seem to not fall into this category. Good job.

Yes, I made a hole. No steroids, I'm just a straight up badass. Say no to drugs, Race.

Yes, hickies. Also who said anything about girls, hmm?

Worse than basketball: curling. Seriously.

Holy shit. You're only 5'5"? You really are a small child. 5'5". Jesus, that's hilarious. I'm at a respectable height of 5'9". Damn. 5'5".

Your friends sound exactly like mine. Like, dead on. Except no one's straight.

Jesus, sorry. I don't speak any languages.

-Spot

* * *

Never actually played curling. I'm a bad Canadian.

-Dare


	7. Chapter 7: Racetrack (Monday Mar 2nd)

I promise it'll get longer. Or maybe it won't. Who knows.

* * *

Spot,

Interesting is one way to describe my friends.

Hm. Emo, crazy, uncool, five year old punk, and know it all. Nice. I can feel the love you have for them.

Um, thank you? I think? My school's not that bad though for a Catholic one.

What did your mom do about the hole in your door? I agree on the drugs front, still no evidence to support you being a badass, though.

Ah. I think I know what you're saying. No girls and all…

Ok you win. Curling sucks. Canadians are weird.

Yes, I'm 5'5". Dick. But, 5'9" isn't that much taller, idiot.

If your friends are anything like mine, then God help your soul. Also no one's straight?

Educare se stessi, per favore.

-Racetrack

* * *

I apologize for the italian via google translate. I am about as cultured as a straw.

-Dare


End file.
